hey ladies...hmmm....its been such a long time since ive been on here. so far, ive not been doing that great. ive lost about 3 pounds this month with not doing anything but stress. so my goal is to lose 15 pounds by the end of last month! so wish me luck!!!!

<3 ari

omg!! im so freaking out. i was doing soo good and then my aunts like "ok, diet queen. try this." and it was a cookie! i didnt want to eat it! but i think she might be catching on. so i didnt know what to do and i ate it.  then after, i felt the hunger ive been pushing away and i ate a piece of chicken, but no. that wasnt enough, i ate another one! i was doing so good on my fast. now i have to start all over. i want so bad to lose weight and my disgusting fat! i cant do this. i cant live like this. 


::talk to me?
soo depressed

hey  guys! so today started off good. woke up at 2 pm. planned on fasting all day. then i was like, mmm..im hungry and got some water. and my aunts like here. and she gave me poptarts. POPTARTS!! they are the worst..so evil! and so i ate them. then later i had veggie pizza and wedges. so my fast was completely ruined. and i felt disgusting so i got on the treadmill and ran 2 miles. thats not alot but considering i havnt been on in a while its good.

anyway, hope youre all doing good. gonna fast till tues or wed. 
good luck!

 this weekend is kinda crappy. i cleaned house for like 3 hours last night. the house looks great and its spotless and i didnt go to bed untill  2 in the morning. i ended up waking up at 2 pm. and now im trying to finish all my freaking homework. and tomorrow i have church and a meeting to go to. so i have no time for anything. barely enough for my homework which i do not understand. 

and to make things worse i have finals in about 2-3 weeks so i am stressed.

this weekend sucks.
i cant wait for next. im  getting fucked up and im having fun.

 so i suck at purging. how long does it usually take do? like do you gag a lot, or does it just come up? ive never officially made myself, i always give up. but i really need to right now and i dont know how long i should wait or maybe i should use a toothbrush? any advise is welcome.

 i am soo disguted with myself. ive eaten so much today. ive always been afraid to make myself throw up or even just throw up in general. but this weekend i was really drunk and i threw up and my friend was there. i kind of made myself. but i just tried 5 mins. ago and i  just kept on gagging. i really need help. im so fat and i hate myself. i weighed myself today and im at 140 pounds and im 5'1. im going on a fast for as long as i can, hopefully for 2 weeks. any advise on purging?? please!